The movie starts off alright, but as Esther becomes more and more calculated and evil, I found myself giggling and I'm sure that was not the intent of the filmmakers. At a certain point, all believability flies out the window and I found myself frequently checking my watch to see the orphan 2 how much time was left. There were even a few times I asked myself why the hell I was watching this retarded movie (the simple answer is to review it). Horror movies are usually pretty stupid and I get that you are supposed to watch them for what they are, but it helps when they are actually scary. There are so many staged moments by director, Jaume Collet-Serra, that are meant to make you jump out of your seat, but not one of them delivers. I wasn't the least bit startled or creeped out by one single moment of Orphan. In fact, the first half of Orphan plays more like a little domestic drama than a horror flick. Couple loses baby, wife turns to alcohol, she loses her job and her daughter is hurt in an accident that was caused by her drunken state. Oh yeah, and at some point John also cheated on Kate. All of this is piled on so that we understand why John wouldn't believe anything Kate has to say about Esther, but really, when nuns go missing and your son is almost killed in a freak fire, even the biggest moron would have to think that maybe your wife might be telling the truth. I also find it hard to believe that John and Kate's 6 year old daughter, who becomes an unwitting accomplice to Esther's dastardly deeds, would be able to keep her adopted sister's secrets, no matter how scared she is. My kids tattle on each other about every indiscretion, real and imaginary.
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